I am here to help the team but I am not God.      Manchester United loanee Federico Macheda makes an early pitch for the stating the obvious of the year award upon his loan move to QPR Jan 5, 2012

     In comparison to Frank Lampard it is like taking a baby for a walk. It is ridiculous.      Neil Warnock compares Frank Lampard's reckless challenge at Wolves to other challenges that actually were red-carded during the festive period Jan 5, 2012

     Look at what I killed. Aren't I the man? This is the only thing I have found that cures my impotence.      Dan Hardy mocks Matt Hughes after a picture emerged of the veteran hunting bobcats Jan 5, 2012

     It feels as if I need my own special translator just for Mario.      Roberto Mancini admits Mario Balotelli remains a mystery to him Jan 5, 2012

     My mum wasn't too pleased as it was the first Christmas I had missed.      James McClean admits his place in the Sunderland first team came at a cost Jan 5, 2012

     You phone the police and report it and they just drive by 10 minutes later. It’s a joke. What’s Coatbridge coming to?      Ricky Burns rages after he was chased whilst out jogging Jan 4, 2012

     I don't have time for pee pee mouth.      Chael Sonnen refers to Lyoto Machida's urine-drinking techniques when claiming he does not have time to fight him Jan 4, 2012

     I’m like a gerbil in one of those wheels.      Bradley Wiggins insists he does nothing other than ride his bike for Team Sky Jan 4, 2012

     I'm afraid now when he comes up against a black person, especially because they're going to go looking for him.      Luis Suarez's mum expresses her fears after her son was found guilty of racially abusing Patrice Evra Jan 4, 2012

     I do not eat children      Toulon lock Bakkies Botha attempts to play down his bad boy image Jan 2, 2012

     To me, this is like Groundhog Day, I have been in this movie.      Ivan Lendl believes he is the best man to help Andy Murray break his grand slam duck Jan 2, 2012

     You say cheats don't prosper but I think in this case he has done.      Neil Warnock felt Bradley Johnson was responsible for Joey Barton's red card Jan 2, 2012

     Too slow, too laboured. They punished us - on the manager's birthday, as well.      Phil Jones rues Manchester United's shock 3-2 defeat at home to Blackburn Jan 2, 2012

     I honestly think I was really toned down, like I didn't use any bad language or anything so I wouldn't change it so much.      Serena Williams has no regrets over her US Open outburst Jan 1, 2012

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