• Week in Words

Ferguson recruits a couple of old favourites

Shane Warne: still fine with a punch-up © Getty Images

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We stop shaking our head in puzzlement to bring you the most bizarre quotes from the last seven days in sport...

"I need to call Bruce and Pallister!"
Sir Alex Ferguson looked for plan B when Ghostbusters were engaged

"The ball is in my court and the show must go on."
Olivier Giroud's entry into the cliché contest was well received

"If he can understand me, he's doing well... I might join him for English lessons myself."
At least we think this is what Steve Clarke said, it's hard to tell

"Pietersen and Strauss should have gone down to the pub and had a beer and feed, and if they had to punch the absolute whatever out of each other, then so be it."
Shane Warne reveals that, despite a recent makeover, he is all man inside

"When they play in the garden they pretend to be him."
Alex Song does nothing to dispel the myth the Arsenal team is too young

"The sight of an ageing lady chewing gum with bright red lippy on is not acceptable."
Okay Joey Barton, but how about the sight of your hissy fit against Manchester City last season?

"When I was a kid, I wasn't thinking of winning five Cincinnatis."
Roger Federer always knew that only six would do

"If a week ago, you told me that together with Robin van Persie I would be playing at Manchester United, I would have driven you straight to the mad house."
Nigel Reo-Coker didn't have to drive many (okay, Alexander Buttner said it really)

"Obviously he's not going to get what a normal caddie would get because his job was fairly easy."
Carlos Tevez's caddying career took another step backwards

For the rest of the week in words, check out our Quote/Unquote section...

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