- Week in Words
'If' really is a massive word
In the latest instalment, we have Ian Holloway going off on one, David Gold wishing he had used his credit card and Sir Alex Ferguson threatening to spend more of the public purse.
"I am going to treat that with the contempt it deserves."
Crystal Palace boss Ian Holloway scoffs at talk of Wilfried Zaha moving to Arsenal in January.
"I'm not going to answer a question 'if'. Really, if is the biggest word in the dictionary, isn't it?"
Not done, Holloway sent the assembled journalists scrambling for their dictionaries. In answer to your question, Ian. No, it isn't.
"If we got that number of penalty kicks there would be an enquiry in the House of Commons."
Ahead of the derby, king of the mind games Sir Alex Ferguson puts the spotlight on the amount of penalties Manchester City have been awarded.
"Before deciding to move to bobsleigh, I watched a documentary called 'Cool Runnings'. It was almost autobiographical."
Seems British Bobsleigh are remaking 'Cool Runnings', with Craig Pickering as Derice Bannock. But who will play Sanka?!
"We didn't buy him from Argos."
Is West Ham co-owner David Gold regretting the decision to take Andy Carroll on loan from Liverpool? Tough really.
"The way the match started I couldn't have played any worse, I was expecting the light to go off as if we were playing in the social club."
It's no exaggeration to say Mark Selby was that poor early on against Ryan Day at the UK Championship that the crowd were of the same opinion.
"He has got the 'wow' factor."
Sprinter Sacre was so good in winning the Tingle Creek Chase, some could be forgiven for thinking trainer Nicky Henderson might next put him up for the X Factor. To be fair, he could probably sing better than Rylan and is certainly more current than Christopher Maloney.
For the rest of the week in words, check out our Quote/Unquote section.