- Top Tens
The secret's in the translation

Not wanting to give away too many secrets, but online journalists spend much of their time trawling the web for that big story. Gems can be found in the foreign press and the use of translation tools has been a vital part of the armoury. Time and again you see players push out the 'I've been misquoted' line and it is fair to say that what you see is not always what you expect and there have been strange results when running names through online translators - and - in a bid to provide a bit of festive merriment - these are the Top Ten.
Vincente Del Bosque - Vincente Of the Forest
Every top team needs a manager and there can be no finer leader than the moustachioed World Cup winner. Del Bosque has been in management for over 30 years and he really has not changed - with that bushy moustache perched on his top lip as if it has its own lifeforce. He served Real Madrid in many capacities since the 1960s and presided over a hugely successful spell between 1999 and 2003, but was shockingly not offered a new contract. The club have so far failed to repeat the success of the Del Bosque era, while the manager emerged from a spell in the wilderness to lead Spain to World Cup glory in 2010.
Rafael van der Vaart - Rafael of the Speed
The Dutchman is not blessed with express pace, but what he lacks in speed he more than makes up for in craft and during his time at Ajax, when he was linked with every great club in the world, he was the subject of many a run through the translation sites of the world.
Fernando Torres - Fernando Towers
Liverpool's star striker was on the radar long before he made his move to Anfield. Torres was tipped for greatness at Atletico Madrid from a young age and such was his standing at the club, he was named captain of the club as a 19-year-old.
Iker Casillas - Iker Squares
Casillas is a high-class keeper but he also has the important knack of often having luck on his side in games. That wasn't the case as a teenager, as he infamously forgot to post his father's pools coupon on the weekend all 14 games came up trumps - costing his family a reported £1 million. Since then he has not looked back and having spent his entire career at Real Madrid, he is a Liga, Champions League, European Championship and World Cup winner.

Bastian Schweinsteiger - Bastian Pigriser
As midfielders go, there are not many more complete players in the modern game. The German can pass, tackle, shoot and work his socks off. And to top it off, he has one of the most beautiful WAGs around. Take a bow, Mr Pigriser.
Franz Beckenbauer - Franz Basin Farmer
To continue on the farmyard theme, we go from a Pigriser to a Basin Farmer. It we think Schweinsteiger is good, well what about Beckenbauer? You don't get a moniker of the Kaiser if you're not any good. He captained Germany to World Cup glory in 1974 and could play in a whole host of positions. One of the great players of all time.
Robert Pires - Robert Worse
Poor Bob. One of the great wingers of his generation, his name does not do him justice. He was an awesome presence on the field for Marseille and then went on to light up north London with his dazzling runs for Arsenal. At times it looked as if the ball was glued to his foot. If you were asked to pick a great left winger for your fantasy team, you could do a lot Worse than go for Bob.
Fernando Hierro - Fernando Iron
If ever a name was appropriate for player, this is it. A towering defender for Real Madrid, Hierro really was a man of iron. He won three Champions League titles and scored 102 goals in 439 appearances - a stunning return for a centre back. He pitched up at Bolton late on in his career before retiring at the age of 37.
Leon de Kogel - Leon the Bullet
Now as names go, this is a gem. And it's one we would not have noticed were it not for him picking up an injury in Utrecht's recent game with Liverpool in the Europa League and the commentator kindly informing us of his amazing translation. See, it's not just us that do it.
Cristiano Ronaldo - Cristiano Cry Baby Prima Donna
Yes we did make that one up. But it would be have been brilliant if it had been true.
© ESPN Sports Media Ltd.
