Ruck'n Maul
Wallabies' RWC jumper better than 'dog's vomit'
Greg Growden
June 12, 2015
Ruck'n Maul: Waratahs ready to rumble

So, is the new Wallabies Rugby World Cup jersey the worst ever?

No. Far from it.

But it is certainly nowhere near the best.

The 2015 World Cup jersey has justifiably been slammed by some as resembling too closely something the Australian T20 cricket team or the Socceroos would wear; or even something you'd take down the beach to sit on. It lacks distinction. But it can never be compared with the worst ever - the infamous 1997-1998 abomination, which looked as if the Wallabies had decided to run out onto the field wearing a pair of ill-fitting home-brand pyjamas. That ridiculous jersey was described in the media as "dog's vomit", resembling the "SBS test pattern" with the players looking as if they were wearing a "girl's blouse".

Michael Fahey, one of Australia's leading sports memorabilia consultants and an expert on the history of the Wallabies jersey, said this week that it was difficult to determine what was the best Australian Test jumper of all time as "there has not been a traditional jersey, but so many different ones … and for many their favourite coincides with a successful team, such as the 1984 Grand Slam side".

My favourite remains the bottle green jersey worn by the Australian teams back in the 1950s with the embossed coat of arms, while the alternative blue strip used in the 1930s was another absolute cracker. In those days, the Australian teams weren't exactly successful but they at least looked stylish. Not anymore.

How to win friends and influence people: part 101

Australian Rugby Union officials are geniuses in upsetting the junior ranks. Their brainless decision to introduce a levy on players, including juniors, to improve the union coffers has understandably not gone down well. You would think the ARU and its subsidiaries would be doing everything they can to appease the lifeblood of the game, but Ruck'n Maul has in recent days been inundated with calls from furious parents and supporters of the game deeply unimpressed there was an appreciable shortage of ARU officials, including scouts, in attendance at the NSW under-16s and under-17s junior state championships at Concord in Sydney over the Queen's Birthday weekend. League scouts were there, but the majority of rugby's talent spotters clearly decided there were better things to do; or they were the masters of disguise by hiding behind bushes. As one parent said: "These are the very group of people the ARU are now dragging substantial amount of money via their 'levy.' Great look. Hit you with a new tax and then disappear from view. Then again, maybe, as it was the start of the ski season, no-one at St Leonards may have been aware the state titles were on." Yet another example of the ARU and co wanting the glory and enjoying the bright lights without being willing to put in the hard yards. The ARU has only itself to blame if the code loses more youngsters to league, AFL and soccer.

Super Rugby Preview: Round 18
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Rugby Link on its last legs?

It is also not a good idea to bring up the subject of the ARU's Rugby Link online registration and competition management system when talking to clubs. The troubled Rugby Link system doesn't have too many fans. Many club hate it. Clubs have complained that it is difficult through the system to track and download data, while important information is constantly lost. Many club officials complain it is just making their job harder. Numerous clubs and competitions are already talking of using another system next year.

'Rabbitohs? I'd be better off playing for Poverty Bay'

New Zealand's Jerry Collins exploits a gap, New Zealand v Italy, Rugby World Cup, Telstra Dome, Melbourne, Australia, October 11, 2003
Jerry Collins had the common touch, Greg Growden says © Getty Images
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Jerry Collins will be missed by many in Australia, as he was one All Blacks player intensely liked by his Wallabies opponents. Collins was renowned for being a hardman but also for a great sense of humour and the common touch, which included in his early representative years working on the local rubbish trucks as part of his football training. He was a straight shooter. Sometimes too straight. His first Test as New Zealand captain in 2006 will always be remembered not for what he did on the field against Argentina in Buenos Aires but what he said directly afterwards. Following the All Blacks' grim victory, New Zealand television commentator Tony Johnson approached Collins on the sideline for some off-the-cuff remarks after the Test. As all of New Zealand watched, Collins scratched his head and admitted it had not been an entirely satisfactory performance.

"We got through it. And the people at home won't be happy that there were mistakes. But who gives a f--k?" Collins then looked down the camera in amazement and, like a teenage boy caught by his parents in a chemist shop asking for certain protection, put his hands over his mouth and said ever so innocently: "'Oops."

In an interview with Ruck'n Maul a few weeks after that gaffe, Collins admitted he was a big George Smith fan. Was Smith his role model? "Role model? Don't know about that. He's shorter than me and has a bigger bum, too. And you can tell him I said that, too." With that comment came a big, long laugh.

Collins's strong affinity with the Australians was obvious. A schoolboy league player, Collins was a passionate NRL follower, barracking for Queensland since the Dale Shearer days, and he was overwhelmed by the Origin series win that had been achieved in the days before the Ruck'n Maul interview. But he wasn't so overwhelmed when asked whether at the end of his union days he would like to finish off his football career with the Rabbitohs.

"Rabbitohs? Mate. I'd be better off bloody playing for Poverty Bay."

RIP Jerry Collins.

Adios JK

A world first.

When coaches are under enormous pressure, you can rely on the players to back them when confronted by the media; even if privately they can't stand the boss. But departing All Blacks back Charles Piutau forgot protocol when interviewed on New Zealand radio this week. Asked if he had full confidence in the beleaguered Blues coach, John Kirwan, Piutau said: "Oh, I think you know ... I can't really speak on that. I'm not too sure. Whatever the board and franchise decide will be the best for the team. I'll back that." Asked if Kirwan had the goods to coach at Super Rugby level, Piutau said: "That's a tough question ... I don't want to comment."

Adios JK.

Whisper of the Week

A big-noting rugby media spin doctor, renowned for making terrible gaffes, is quickly losing friends with his arrogant 'high and mighty' attitude. He has even angered important Super Rugby team officials with his unnecessary mess-ups. How he survived a recent excruciating public blunder is beyond belief. Time to pull your head in, pal.

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