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Mr E chokes on a reality pill

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I don't know about you but it seems to me that the real world has finally caught up with Bernie Ecclestone.

In one or two interviews at the weekend, his appearance and silly answers made him appear a man under siege and all of his 84 years. A more telling line came in a more sensible chat with Ian Parkes of the Press Association.

"In the old days," said Ecclestone, "the people sitting around a table would be the guys who could say yes or no. They would ask me to sort it out and it would be sorted. But none of the modern guys can agree anything, even if they wanted to. They all have to report back to somebody."

The surprise is that this appears to surprise Bernie. It's as if he hasn't moved on from the 1970s and '80s when he, as owner of Brabham, would sit round a table with the likes of Ken Tyrrell (Tyrrell), Colin Chapman (Lotus), Frank Williams (Williams), Max Mosley (March) and Teddy Mayer (McLaren) and it would work exactly as he describes.

The only person in the room not owning their respective sweet shop would be the man from Maranello, who would have to excuse himself and get on the phone to Enzo Ferrari. Usually, though, Mr. Ferrari was ahead of the game, having privately talked it through beforehand with Bernie.

Ferrari was always the player you wanted on side. That much doesn't appear to have changed even if it's for reasons of misguided homage to a declining name rather than winning the clout of a crafty dictator. More often than not Bernie and Enzo, motor traders both, sang from the same hymn sheet. The difficulty Ecclestone now faces is that the hymn book has become a corporate gilt-edge production in which his hand-written inserts have no place.

He summed that up with the rather curious quote: "If the company belonged to me, I would have done things in a different way. That's because it would have been my money I was dealing with, but I work for people who are in the business to make money." Again, it appears this is either a total shock or he didn't think it mattered.

Well it does now. Not before time, Sauber and at least one representative from Force India have started shouting in public about being kept in the dark by Mr. E and the five more privileged teams. Marussia had complained quietly in the past but, being new boys and back-markers, no one paid the slightest bit of attention. The back of the grid has now crept forward to snare bigger names with the 'nobody gives a toss who's last' label and, understandably, they're not happy about the prospect of being next to fall off the end. Again, Ecclestone seems startled by such insubordination in the ranks.

In some respects, these teams have only themselves to blame for remaining quiet for too long. Tyrrell spent many of his later years in the rear quarter of the grid. He didn't feel the need to complain in public about his plight because he had made a hell of a noise when seated around that table with Bernie and the rest of the boys.

At least, for better or worse, everyone knew where they stood. The impression you have now is that no one has the first idea what's going on. Least of all the man attempting to give out the hymn books.

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Maurice Hamilton writes for ESPN F1.

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